Back to Basics

If nothing else this week, I've become aware (more aware?) of my tendency to over-control in times of stress. Normally, I'm a pretty laid back gal. But gosh, get me in a situation where I'm not quite confident and it looks like I turn into a control freak. I wouldn't have guessed that about myself. Other people probably would have!

So I've sworn off all bridal websites except for the one I'm using where all my guests are listed. Yesterday, an email from the photographer set off another controlling frenzy of "oh, what if we miss this picture or that picture..." Ya know what? We're going to have pictures out the wazoo. As long as I have some nice ones of Chris and I, my brothers, and mom and dad that'll be fine. I don't need 20 shots of the bridal party. I'll look at them, put them in an album, and there they'll stay - is that worth my stress? Nope.

Yesterday I went on the boat for the first time in a few weeks. It felt so good to be in the water. It felt better to be in the water laying on the board, waiting for the boat to circle back around then it actually did to ride, which was strange. Even though we were wakesurfing instead of wakeboarding, and in and of itself that's more chill, the riding was too intense. I just wanted to lay and float. It's been a little cool here for about a week and the water was chilly to get into but perfect after a few minutes. But between stationary computer geeking and trying to lose weight quickly, I didn't have much stamina. Here I was trying to relax and I couldn't! Too stressed to enjoy my current favorite water activity. So I came home.

I did some non-wedding things. My town - for whatever stroke of brilliance - decided to cancel their recycling pick-up program. Genius, right? But I kept my recycling bin and when it gets full I take it down to the public works where there is a large recycling container in the parking lot. But man, what a chore! It had been at least 6 weeks - maybe 8 - since I took that thing...bad idea in the summer time! And worse, during those 6 weeks we had 3 or 4 sets of guests so the recycling was full of beer bottles. And of course the stale beer had fermented in the sun...it was only a 5 minute car ride to the public works office, but it felt like eternity. I had to put all the windows down. When I stopped for lights or traffic, in those moments the stench wafted up and then as I started to move again, the movement of air cycled the stench throughout the car. I thought I was going to puke. Retelling the story later to Chris he said:

"I've never seen you gag. I'd like to."

Great. Then nasty liquid of some form leaked onto my car interior giving the pleasant smell a lingering only wet carpet can have. I got home, cleaned the car, gave the recycling bin a pitiful shower of vinegar (being that I haven't been to the grocery and am out of all other disinfecting essentials) and all-in-all felt better than I had even on the boat! Moving slowly back to being me and not the bride-to-be. And felt better about it all!