A Promise

I promise to post later...I am internalizing all the stress and this is my promise for self-care :)

Feeling More Human

So, things seem to be a little back to normal in the ol' cranium today, so that's good.  Still tired and a little fuzzy but with Advil Migraine for me, who can be against me?  And I think Chris had previously turned the brightness on my computer monitor all the way up!  Egads! ::turning brightness very, very dim::

5 days and counting...and I'm feeling very normal.  A few people had told me that no matter "how calm" you proposed being in your wedding planning, by the time this part rolled around, everyone was guaranteed to be "bridezilla."  Well, I disagree.  I think I'm pretty far from bridezilla.  Exhausted, nervous, stressed out (a little)...all affirmatives.  But feeling like I need to control everything or make sure everything is in place...not so.

I mentioned yesterday the nixing of the wedding programs.  Well, they may be useful, but they just weren't worth it.  Even considering the work I had previously put in designing them on the computer somehow did not outweigh my dread of completing the task.  So I didn't.  I mean, it's not a Christmas pagent or a school play...it's a wedding...and not a complicated one at that.  True, there will be some nuances that even I'm not familiar with, but I realized we didn't even touch on them in the program.  I think everyone will get through it fine, and for my breech of etiquette I will gladly trade the disapproving thoughts for the hours spent lining margins up on the computer to the right width to bind the darn things with matching green raffia.

In not-so-great-turn-of-event news, my little nephew is sick, leaving my brother, sister-in-law, and niece (aka bridesmaid) uncertain as to their travel  plans.  Poor little dude!  I even surprised myself with calmness in the face of having one less bridesmaid and no makeup plans (sister-in-law is a makeup artist and had generously offered her services).  And of course if they can't come that is sad, but I want nephew to be well and not sick and a 2 day car ride is not condusive to being well or stress-free.  :(  So lots of warmth and prayers and good thoughts his way - imagine being 10 years old and sick before your Florida vacation!  That would be like...the end of the world!!

But behind all this is a little glimmer of excitement.  It's like I can finally see the forest through the trees, and I'm excited about the closeness of the things AFTER the wedding.  Like finally not living 55 minutes apart.  Not coming home to an empty house.  Laughing.  Not having to plan so much to do simple things.  Having a paddleboarding partner in the mornings.  Thinking about what adventures to have together.  Being able to count on each other.  Opportunities to grow.  These and various other thoughts have made me smile lately and I am finally starting to feel excited for all of these things to come. 

P.S. - It's still raining.  Sending Dad to Lowe's to look for some big rolls of plastic to staple gun to the house pilings (pretty sure that's not allowed in the rental agreement) to make some shelter on Saturday.

Migraines and PITA = Wedding Build Up

That's all I really have to say right now :)

But just to add a little bit more...

I do have a migraine
I bought enough cupcake holders for all 84 cupcakes
I wrapped all the family gifts
I had an argument over the food
I nixed the wedding programs (did I write that in another post?)
Chris is busy moving his stuff in here and busy being totally awesome

That's all for now...

All Things Considered

...so my parents are here! From now until the wedding! Yikes! I really can't believe that it's so close...no particular feelings of excitement, but I'm definately feeling nervous. I'm trying to stay with that feeling and it's not easy for me. I wake up in the morning with butterflies like I haven't felt since I was a little girl practicing to be a marshmallow in the 5th grade Christmas pageant. What marshmallows had to do with Christmas, I don't remember.

Last night I had crazy dreams. Dreams of high school and Key West and all sorts of strange things. I woke up at a 90 degree angle to the top of the bed and have an awful cramp in my neck and shoulders. I think the dreams were of unresolved issues. The dreams in no way helped me resolve anything, but I can't see any other link to all the randomness. Plus today I can't stop thinking about everyone and everything I dreamt about.

Things are starting to really feel like a dream now. Especially with my parents at the house - they haven't been here (together) in about 2 years. Next week as people start to arrive I'm sure it will get more surreal.

And it's because the feeling of surreal is starting to take over, Chris and I are trying to focus on the real. We've axed the cake cutting. In fact, we may end up not having a cake at all. It was pretty much the only reception "tradition" we had kept, but suddenly we realized that it just wasn't us. We were only doing it for the sake of tradition and not for authenticity. So out the window it went. I haven't been able to get ahold of my cake friend, so instead of freaking out (which I started to) I'm just going to go with the flow. If we get cake, great! We'll make a desert table. If not, great! We'll still make a desert table just maybe with Key Lime Pie and/or chocolate covered strawberries and maybe some ginger snaps. I don't know why I just wrote ginger snaps but I do love them so.

We're not making a rain plan. I started to wonder what we would do in case of inclement weather. All these months we had just been banking on sunshine and suddenly we had a month of rain, like clockwork, every afternoon - of course it got my brain moving. What would we do if...started going through my head. And then I had a vision of being in the beach house, rain pouring down, watching a movie on the couch. And it was a nice vision...very comforting. So I asked Chris and my MOH about what they thought we should do...and they both replied "nothing." No, MOH added "we'll be damp." So damp we'll be :) I can't fit 91 people in the beach house. I can fit 91 people underneath for food, but the plan was to utilize the beach mostly and have the house available as needed (to get out of the sun, bathroom, etc.). If it rains we'll just have to go with the flow. Literally.

Friday?

Is today Friday already? My to-do list started off today with 17 items and of 8:06 PM I still have...14 left! D'oh! Plus I just realized I need to go grocery shopping before my parents arrive otherwise they will want to buy groceries for me. So though I just started my blog posting I am abandoning it now in favor of the to-do list, the grocery list, and the comfort-food, deliciously smelling coconut cake I am baking in the oven to make both Chris and I feel a little bit better.

Goodnight!

Honeymooning

Destin, Florida from the air

With not a lot of time to plan, not a lot of money to spend, and with Chris' job focusing on school children (who are already back to school) we decided not to take a big honeymoon. Honestly, with both of us working from home and living so close to the beach, we do live an enviable life.

So we wanted to do something low key, with the idea that maybe next year we would go out west - maybe Montana or Wyoming to the national parks - but for now we would stay closer to home and just go for a few days.

We looked at places in Alabama and Georgia, places we wouldn't normally consider going. I even considered the east coast of Florida until I went to visit Chris in St. Augustine and realized that I'd rather stay home than stay there! But I love, love, love south Florida so much I kept getting drawn back to where we could go relatively cheaply and close to home.

The strange but cool thing about Florida is that it's so big. When I would drive from my parent's house in Maryland to my brother's house in Key West, Jacksonville was only the half way point - it was still another 12 hours even though I had officially "arrived" in Florida! I've spent the last 8 years on the northern part of the Gulf Coast but oh south Florida how I love you - especially the Keys. I no kidding dream about them at night.

So, of course I looked at options along the Keys. I wanted somewhere new, somewhere fresh so I stayed away from looking at Key West and thought about exploring the back country Keys that I never visited. There were a lot of options, and at do-able prices, but the drive would take up most of our precious few days. 12 hours from Fort Walton Beach on a good day. The Keys would have to wait. And yes, I realize we could fly, but something about people in Florida you just end up driving even though if I were going ANYWHERE else that were 12 hours away I'd be looking at flights.

An 8 hour drive would be fine with both of us taking turns. I mean I'm a driver but I didn't want to spend time recuperating from the drive. So to brainstorm we turned to oh-so-handy Google maps and explored the Gulf Coast of Florida vicariously. And it really helped. I knew I wanted as warm as we could get so geographically we were looking south of Tampa. Chris wanted something quiet where we could do nothing - so Clearwater, St. Pete, and pretty much all of the east coast were out. Turns out along the Gulf Coast are tons of little islands and keys. We started our search at Sanibel Island - I had heard of it and Chris had been there. It seemed to be the perfect, quiet place.

I don't remember how the search evolved but we ended up finding this place - The Turtle Beach Resort. We both knew it was the right place and after checking out the website made the reservations that day. OF COURSE then I started looking online for reviews before realizing (for the millionth time) that is not the best thing to do. I mean, chances are if you're taking the time to write a review your stay was either exceptionally positive or negative enough to annoy you.

But I am really excited and hope it is a good time! The people we've spoken too so far have been very helpful, and I'm sure we'll be happy there. They have all sorts of fun things to do in terms of kayaking and snorkeling and we'll take kiteboards and maybe we can borrow a surfboard or two. It's a part of Florida I've never visited so I'm excited about that! An adventure close to home!