All Things Considered

...so my parents are here! From now until the wedding! Yikes! I really can't believe that it's so close...no particular feelings of excitement, but I'm definately feeling nervous. I'm trying to stay with that feeling and it's not easy for me. I wake up in the morning with butterflies like I haven't felt since I was a little girl practicing to be a marshmallow in the 5th grade Christmas pageant. What marshmallows had to do with Christmas, I don't remember.

Last night I had crazy dreams. Dreams of high school and Key West and all sorts of strange things. I woke up at a 90 degree angle to the top of the bed and have an awful cramp in my neck and shoulders. I think the dreams were of unresolved issues. The dreams in no way helped me resolve anything, but I can't see any other link to all the randomness. Plus today I can't stop thinking about everyone and everything I dreamt about.

Things are starting to really feel like a dream now. Especially with my parents at the house - they haven't been here (together) in about 2 years. Next week as people start to arrive I'm sure it will get more surreal.

And it's because the feeling of surreal is starting to take over, Chris and I are trying to focus on the real. We've axed the cake cutting. In fact, we may end up not having a cake at all. It was pretty much the only reception "tradition" we had kept, but suddenly we realized that it just wasn't us. We were only doing it for the sake of tradition and not for authenticity. So out the window it went. I haven't been able to get ahold of my cake friend, so instead of freaking out (which I started to) I'm just going to go with the flow. If we get cake, great! We'll make a desert table. If not, great! We'll still make a desert table just maybe with Key Lime Pie and/or chocolate covered strawberries and maybe some ginger snaps. I don't know why I just wrote ginger snaps but I do love them so.

We're not making a rain plan. I started to wonder what we would do in case of inclement weather. All these months we had just been banking on sunshine and suddenly we had a month of rain, like clockwork, every afternoon - of course it got my brain moving. What would we do if...started going through my head. And then I had a vision of being in the beach house, rain pouring down, watching a movie on the couch. And it was a nice vision...very comforting. So I asked Chris and my MOH about what they thought we should do...and they both replied "nothing." No, MOH added "we'll be damp." So damp we'll be :) I can't fit 91 people in the beach house. I can fit 91 people underneath for food, but the plan was to utilize the beach mostly and have the house available as needed (to get out of the sun, bathroom, etc.). If it rains we'll just have to go with the flow. Literally.