Feeling More Human

So, things seem to be a little back to normal in the ol' cranium today, so that's good.  Still tired and a little fuzzy but with Advil Migraine for me, who can be against me?  And I think Chris had previously turned the brightness on my computer monitor all the way up!  Egads! ::turning brightness very, very dim::

5 days and counting...and I'm feeling very normal.  A few people had told me that no matter "how calm" you proposed being in your wedding planning, by the time this part rolled around, everyone was guaranteed to be "bridezilla."  Well, I disagree.  I think I'm pretty far from bridezilla.  Exhausted, nervous, stressed out (a little)...all affirmatives.  But feeling like I need to control everything or make sure everything is in place...not so.

I mentioned yesterday the nixing of the wedding programs.  Well, they may be useful, but they just weren't worth it.  Even considering the work I had previously put in designing them on the computer somehow did not outweigh my dread of completing the task.  So I didn't.  I mean, it's not a Christmas pagent or a school play...it's a wedding...and not a complicated one at that.  True, there will be some nuances that even I'm not familiar with, but I realized we didn't even touch on them in the program.  I think everyone will get through it fine, and for my breech of etiquette I will gladly trade the disapproving thoughts for the hours spent lining margins up on the computer to the right width to bind the darn things with matching green raffia.

In not-so-great-turn-of-event news, my little nephew is sick, leaving my brother, sister-in-law, and niece (aka bridesmaid) uncertain as to their travel  plans.  Poor little dude!  I even surprised myself with calmness in the face of having one less bridesmaid and no makeup plans (sister-in-law is a makeup artist and had generously offered her services).  And of course if they can't come that is sad, but I want nephew to be well and not sick and a 2 day car ride is not condusive to being well or stress-free.  :(  So lots of warmth and prayers and good thoughts his way - imagine being 10 years old and sick before your Florida vacation!  That would be like...the end of the world!!

But behind all this is a little glimmer of excitement.  It's like I can finally see the forest through the trees, and I'm excited about the closeness of the things AFTER the wedding.  Like finally not living 55 minutes apart.  Not coming home to an empty house.  Laughing.  Not having to plan so much to do simple things.  Having a paddleboarding partner in the mornings.  Thinking about what adventures to have together.  Being able to count on each other.  Opportunities to grow.  These and various other thoughts have made me smile lately and I am finally starting to feel excited for all of these things to come. 

P.S. - It's still raining.  Sending Dad to Lowe's to look for some big rolls of plastic to staple gun to the house pilings (pretty sure that's not allowed in the rental agreement) to make some shelter on Saturday.